Dalam Rembulan Dan Cahya Mentari
Di Gelap Badai Dan Indahnya Pelangi
Dalam Tangisan Dan Wajah Berseri
Kan Kutemukan Kasih Terbesar Bagi Dunia Ini

Reff :
Diam Kuterpaku
Dan Ku Takjub Akan Kasih-Mu
Yang Tergores Indah
Dalam Anug’rah
Hatiku Milik-Mu

Indah Kuterkagum
Dan Kubawakan Hidupku
Kau Membuat Hatiku
Menjadi Baru
Bahagia Ku Mengenal-Mu

Bridge:
Kuterpaku… Melihat-Mu
Kuterkagum… Memandang-Mu

A Sidney Mohede song that sums up my quest to be at that state of ‘terpaku’ for Him. Lead me, Lord…Amen.

sunflower pictures , pictures of sunflower

Dear you,

You went home tonight.

Regrets creep in for not being in touch or even seeing you but to a friend who I knew when I was only about 3 feet tall and that few years that we grew up in Sunday school, just know that as you smile down on us, you were in thoughts at times in my life and will always be from now on till we meet again.

As I sat hearing stories of your life and read the words you had shared on your journal – one thing is for sure: you have certainly lived a life full of passion, not just for life’s sake but especially for Him.

I will remember the words you wrote:

“ Of note, you’ll realize that I have not mentioned God in my background story and if you know me at all, you’ll know that God is at the center of my very being.”

This one as well:

“I am just me. Without Him, I am just an empty shell, devoid of light, devoid of love. It is He, who is Love, who is the light and life in me. I am nothing and He is everything.”

God being the CENTER of your very being and that He is everything and we are nothing. How apt that we tend to put God in the background, on the sidelines only to seek Him in need,how we think that we are everything and He is nothing. But not for you, nay definitely not you at all! I will remember all these words.

My heart ached but recalling what memory I have with you and the GR days help soothes the pain a little.

You going home reminded me of that time when we were part of a handful that was called out in the congregation to be the 5 streams of His work; 5 streams that will be the forefront for Him and doing great and mighty things for Him. As I recall, I think yours was one of being the leader of the pack – the one that will go before the rest of us and will lead the way – I guess you really did, huh? As for me, I think it was something to do with taking short cuts in life and weaseling my way out of things yet serving Him but with you having run your race and showed the way, no more shortcuts or running away for me huh?

So for now a quote to capture this moment: (A well-used one by yours truly)

“There are not many roads in this journey, there’s only one road, infinitely connected, like the many grooves of an old record, endlessly leading away from home and back towards home at the same time. It’s all one long journey and travelling is what we do to stay alive. Like every road, it has its twists and turns; mine included. But with every twirl and bend and bumps, there’s always this hope that things can only get better…what I face today is just a taste of things to come and with that in mind I can’t wait for tomorrow but then again I can’t forget about today…so its on about today then…It’s late and its been hard trying to fall asleep with so much on your minds. Every thought that passes you reminds you of things undone and with every blink of an eye, the heart rattles away for that very person that you so desire, forming a familiar face at the edge of a crowded mind; the brown eyes, those curvaceous lips, that well-known scent…it always lingers on, doesn’t it? As the eyes shut and the mind drifts away to that one very mysterious place where all these seems to come true…our dreams…”

Oh, I am pretty sure you will always linger on in thoughts and in dreams.

Sigh…my tearless grief is definitely bleeding inwardly.

Godspeed, old friend. See you around!

Cheers,
A

P/S As you rest now in eternal life  - I pray for strength to begin my work and fulfilling my calling to be a Stream for Him…Thank you for showing the way…and so my journey begins…

“Let us not forget that knowledge and skills alone cannot lead humanity to a happy and dignified life. … I claim credit for nothing. Everything is determined, the beginning as well as the end, forces over which we have no control. It is determined for the insects as well as for the stars, Human beings, vegetables or cosmic dust, we all dance to a mysterious tune, intoned in the distance by an invisible piper.”

Albert Einstein (1879 – 1955), Dilip Kumar Roy, (famous Indian classical singer), had cited the above quotation of Einstein in one of his letters to his disciple M.S.Subbalakshmi, another famous Indian singer and Magsayee Award

Colonel Derricks: [stops Sayuri as she is exiting the hot spring] So, what is the protocol?
Sayuri Nitta: If there were a price, you could never afford it. [exits spring]
a scene from Memoirs of a Geisha (2005)

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“Begin at the beginning and go on till you come to the end: then stop.”
Lewis Carroll, Alice’s Adventures in Wonderland. Said by the King to the White Rabbit
English author & recreational mathematician (1832-1898)
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fireworksin
The theme for the year. Across the board for not only myself, the company and church. I suppose at times, you cannot just ignore the synchrocity. So now, the big Q is what do i do with this blog?
Here are some initial thoughts:
1. At least 1 post a week – can’t be that hard to do right?
2. A uniformed posting. a pic and a quote to go with my words/thoughts?
Honestly, that’s all i can think of right now… =P
Ok 2009. Let’s influence some!

“you’re a poet, and I’m single mortal, and therefore I will say we must look at things from the simplest, most practical point of view.” frank dostoevsky

practical. i will readily admit that i have never been that practical a person. ever the idealist, the hopeless romantic (cue song:heart of mine), the far-fetched dream-person (not dreamer, mind you), the trying to look at things complicatedly-guy, well everything but practical. however the past years have taught me well; that one of the hardest thing to do living is to strike some kind of equilibrium between two. being idealistic, taking risks and yet being practical. and that’s one of many things that i’m working on this year. part of my themes for the year – i refuse to call them resolutions anymore, i prefer themes – its inspired by artmaker‘s weekly themes and less pressure too.

so heart check on where am i now in that quest for a balanced act? i’ll say 10%, with less than a 100 days to go for the year! keeping it real.

do you want to know/if everything glittering/will turn into the gold/i see in your hair/i feel it could be there/somehow tonight

and do you want to find/something worth saving/the change would do me right/cause I’ve been just waiting/and hesitating/with this heart of mine

you’re still a mystery/but there’s something so easy/in how you’re sweet to me/i feel completed/like it’s something i needed/for this heart of mine

there’s always something so tragic/about a hopeless romantic

so though we cannot know/if everything glittering/will turn into the gold/i’m through with waiting/and hesitating/i want you taking/this heart of mine/heart of mine/heart of mine

(go ahead, youtube it. worth a listen)

she wanted more of her on this blog. having had a whole lot of ‘moments in MY sun’ as in the previous blogs, looks like it didn’t amount to anything! my she just wants to be famous, i think. so i am adding she or ok we shall code name her ‘girl-ey’ to things i will talk/blog about. happy now, girl-ey? =)

ladies and gentlemen, boys and girls…my girl-ey:

 you can find girl-ey here. more soon. promise.

iam at it again. perhaps this time with a bit more vengence. forsome of the old stuff and for an idea of who iam and what i do, read here and here. there was that failed attempt with vox. but this time i think it will work better. this will be that space for the occasional play of words for the world to read, some ramblings, hearsays, quotes, links…well i rather leave the heavier things in my ‘mol-e‘ for now. so this void in the worldwideweb will serve as my semi-journal on my quest to where the light is…or so to say.

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